If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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