i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
