i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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