Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
