I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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