i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
