I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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