I wish I could teleport
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
