Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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