There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
