Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
