grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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