go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
