We need to rekindle our bromance
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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