I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
