Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
