So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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