Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
