Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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