It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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