I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My feet surprised me
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