It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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