Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
