you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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