Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
