ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
