So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
