Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
