I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
