You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
