I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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