So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
