for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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