Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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