So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
