If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
