bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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