To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
