i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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