can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
