my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
