I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
