yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize