At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
