I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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