I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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