im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
