You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
