is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
