the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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