The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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