I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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