I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
