Can Purell be used as lube?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
