he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
