Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
