Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
