Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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