Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
