Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
