seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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