U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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