I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
