What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
