3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You can't special order awesome
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
