So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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