There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
organizing the empties. That sober.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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