saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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